Today, during church service. I went up front before the throne of GOD to have an encounter with HIM concerning a matter that was heavy on my heart. The Associate Pastor (I cannot remember his name), sermon touched me deep at the core of my heart. (His sermon was taken from Luke chapter 15, verses 11 through 32). So, it prompted me to open up and speak to GOD about what was heavy on my heart before HIS altar at church. I wasn’t planning on doing it and certainly not publicly. But when the LORD speaks through a man of GOD so powerfully. Sometimes you cannot help but respond to GOD’s urging to come on up and see HIM. To have an encounter with HIM. So, I did.
Any rate. So, I brought my tears and all of my concerns to HIM. And my oldest daughter, Shea, came up in support of me. And she too brought her tears to the altar of GOD on behalf of our pain and even frustration concerning my youngest daughter. Together, we called out to the LORD for my youngest daughter and I pleaded my case to GOD. Pleading to HIM as I yelled out in my frustration and hurt and lack of understanding.
“BRING HER HOME! BRING HER HOME! BRING HER HOME!”
When I was done pleading before GOD. I turned to my oldest daughter, who was holding me on my right side, and handed her a tissue to wipe her face. That’s when I noticed, someone was also holding me up on my left. And just out of the corner of my eye is when I noticed my friend Carole was on my left side rubbing my back in support of my struggle and pain for my youngest daughter. The LORD is good. HE really is.
Sometimes before I went up to the altar. GOD brought back to my memory a song I wrote in 2017 titled Come On Home. This song is about a person rethinking the decisions they have made and whether GOD and their loved ones will receive them if they return to the FATHER. Return home to where they rightfully belong. Verse 2 best describes my thoughts at the moment. And I wanted to share this in hopes that it will encourage any parent who has temporarily lost a child to this world but they are hoping their child will return home soon.
Y’all I have been crying all day, off and on, nonstop. And I really did not understand why because tears are something I rarely show, especially publically. I just could not stop crying for my child each time I thought about her today. I turned to my BFF out of frustration and said. “I can’t stop crying!” And what she said next gave me clarity. She said. “Deaidre, you probably need it. Your soul is cleansing itself. So, let it do what it needs to do. And obviously, you need to cry. So, stop trying to prevent it.” And she was right. Absolutely right. So, I just allowed and permitted myself to have my moments whenever my heart was hurting and needed to cry. Here it is almost midnight. And I am still shredding tears. But I do feel relieved and I am completely trusting GOD for restoration as HE comforts me in this matter.
This blog is really not about me, but more about my Father and our relationship. How we interact with one another and my response to His prompting. To be honest, at the moment, I do not know what to expect from this blog. I have no idea how personal I will get, what exactly I will share, and how often I will do it. But one thing is for certain. I will share what God places on my heart to share.